Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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