i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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