I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
