is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
