Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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