Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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