You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
