How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
