I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You were trust falling into bushes
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
