that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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