If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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