i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
