What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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