I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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