and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
bring money and cleavage
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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