is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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