I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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