11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
