just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize