please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
