My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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