Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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