I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
