it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
