i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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