Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize