You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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