What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
