One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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