How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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