i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
