OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize