whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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