I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
