discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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