Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
