I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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