i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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