HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i've created a new STD.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
