My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
