I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize