So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
