ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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