During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
