and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This house was built for laser tag.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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