He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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