She is in my trunk
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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