she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
