u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
