No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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