who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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