And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
