Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
