like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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