A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize