we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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