she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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