Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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