Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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